Sasuke and the Seven Chibi
by Kokkoro no Ookami
Summary: A Secret Santa gift for someone on Gaiaonline. Read it, it has Sasuke in drag


Snow White and the seven Chibi 

**Disclaimer:I don't own 'Naruto'. If I did, Sasuke would be in drag more often.**

**Warning: Cross-dressing and Yaoi, you've been warned. This is actually a secret Santa gift as well, I won't reveal who, that'll take away the secret! And it is also the longest one-shot I've ever wrote.**

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Narrator: (Kokoro comes up on stage with a cheeky grin) Hehe always wanted to do this.

Iruka: -comes in with cloth and various sowing materials in his hand- Oh god. What is it now!?

NK-kun: Cross dressing. D

Iruka: …as long as I'M not involved.

NK-kun:-evil grin- Who said you were involved, I was thinking of a certain Uchiha.

Iruka: O…Then don't let Naruto find out.

NK: Oh, he knows, he even helped out.

Iruka: -sigh- Nothing too evil then.-leaves to finish costume-

NK-kun: Oh, it won't be. And I'm the world's best liar, HA! Any way:

Once upon a time, in a lovely kingdom called Konoha, there ruled a king and queen, one day they had a little boy, and the Queen died after she gave birth, but not before naming him Sasuke. The King had respected his wife's wishes and took care of Sasuke by himself, but he found he could not do this once the boy reached 8, so he remarried to a wicked woman/man rumored to be a Sorceress, Ororchimaru Uchiha was Her/His wedded name.

_W-S-Orochimaru_: -comes out in Stepmothers clothes- I hate you K.

NK-kun: Follow the script!

_W-S-Orochimaru_: …Bitch

NK-kun: I know! Thank you!

_W-S-Orochimaru:_…

Anyway, the king himself eventually died, whether by poisoning or disease no one knew, they did know Ororchimaru was egotistical and loved His/Herself and also made his/her beautiful stepson wear drag, much to Sasuke's dismay.

Sasuke: Mother! Why do I have to wear a DRESS!?

W-S-Orochimaru: -trying not to nosebleed- Because it makes you look beautiful.

Sasuke: I don't WANT to look beautiful! I want to look like a normal prince!

W-S-Orochimaru: ….I'm your Mother though. What I say goes.

Sasuke: …Yes mother.-last part is ground out-

As the years went by Queen Ororchimaru eventually lost his/her interest in dressing Prince Sasuke up in drag, much to many village girls and especially Ladies Sakura and Ino's dismay, and became more interested on why the hell Sasuke was prettier than him. So he decided to consult his handy all seeing mirror to see what to do about it.

W-S-Orochimaru: Mirror Mirror On the Wall----

Mirror (Kabuto):I know what your going to ask, and yes, he is.

W-S-Orochimaru: Dammit! Nevermind then. Go back to whatever it is talking mirrors do.

M Kabuto: ….

W-S-Ororchimaru: -mumbling to self- Maybe I should drop him in a pot of acid. No, too annoying, he'll scream. Fire? No, more screaming, or maybe---

MKabuto: mmHM-cough-

W-S-Orochimaru: What!?

MKabuto: My FEE for this month?

W-S-Orochimaru: -grumbles- Here! Now go away. I just thought of something. –goes off to find the hunter-

MKabuto: Thanks, -mumbles- man-bitch

W-S-Ororchimaru: -from distance- **What **was that!?

MKabuto: Nothing Ororchimaru-ou!

W-S-Orochimaru: -looks suspiciously- It better not have been.

So King/Queen Orochimaru went to get Shims most trustworthy Hunter…Umino Iruka. Thought I was going to say Kakashi or Itachi, didn't ya?

Iruka: K YOU FUCKING BITCH!

K-kun:-laughing her ass off- I couldn't…HAHAHA…help it!

Iruka: -glare- Change it.

K-kun: But—

Iruka: Change it now or so help me god I will go and get the Sesame Street puppets and---

K-kun: **Fine** fine! Just no puppets! **(A/N: This commentary IS on purpose, so noone ask)**

Iruka: Good. –walks back behind stage to continue his makeout session with Kakashi---I mean finish the costume's for 'SFDF'-

Anyway, Ororchimaru-ou (**A/N:It will be Ou now)** sent for his/her most trustworthy hunter Hatake Kakashi.

Kakashi: -Actually has the same idea as Iruka, except ten times worse, lawyers found my corpse after this was posted- You called my lord?

Orochimaru-ou: Yes. I want you to take my darling stepson out to the forest.

Kakashi: Annnnnnnnnndddd?

Orochimaru-ou: And kill him of course!

Kakashi: But Orochimaru-ou! That's---

Orochimaru-ou: I don't CARE! Just do it! And bring back his heart as proof; try to keep it beating if you would.

Kakashi: -is still getting over the shock of the request- Why do you need the heart to keep beating?

Ororchimaru-ou: That is for me to know. Now don't disobey me, kill him.

Kakashi: …Yes Orochimaru-ou. –gets ready to leave then remembers something- mmhm…

Orochimaru-ou: -is too busy deciding what ingredients should be used in the potion-

Kakashi: mmHM….

Orochimaru-ou: -still busy-

Kakashi: MMHM!

Ororchimaru-ou: Oh what is it now!?

Kakashi: I believe today is payday. Now pay me so I can take Iruka out on the date I promised him. And by the new Icha Icha afterwards. (from behind stage) -K: Did he forget this was a play!? Iruka: No, he probably just worked that in somehow. -

Orochimaru-ou: What is with you henchmen and wanting pay!? –grumbles and gets out money- Here!

Kakashi: -happy look, can't tell with the mask on-. He says something before he leaves, serious look no less- Neither of you stay in character, you should work on that, and the same with the story. –leaves to prepare-

Ororchimaru-ou: -vein-

K-kun: -veintwitchvein-

Anyway, after the initial thoughts of murder and mayhem from the Narrator and the queen/king, Orochimaru-ou went back to his/her original task; making the soup for Sasuke-kuns heart. You see, Orochimaru-ou found out that if he/she ate the heart of the beautiful prince, he/she would live longer and gain great beauty from it.

Orochimaru-ou: That and its Sasuke-kuns heart, and that will taste delicious no matter what. –crazy look-

K-kun:-sweatdrop- Remind me never to hire him for anything again.

Iruka: Will do.

As all of these evil plans were taking place, Sasuke was out in the woods picking flowers. You see, even though Orochimaru-ou lost interest in making Sasuke wear drag, Sasuke himself started to like it and eventually dresses, hot pants, and miniskirts were all that were in his wardrobe.

Sasuke: Hot pants?

K-kun: Yes, hot pants. Got a problem with it?

Sasuke:…

K-kun: Good

So Sasuke also developed girly habits due to his temporary training as a princess that Orochimaru forced him into, hence the flowers.

Sasuke: Dammit! I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for Mother! –grumbling-

-sweatdrop- Right. The hunter himself was coming up with a plan as he walked into the woods where the prince was. To kill the young beautiful prince or something else.

Kakashi:Reading: 'Snow White': So I should kill a pig instead? And then I'll take it's-----!?

K-kun: Uh, Kakashi-san, are you okay?

Kakashi: I have to take its stomach? –said more to himself-

K-kun: Oh! I forgot about that part, so no, only the heart.

Kakashi: Good. –kills the pig that just came out-

K-kun: GAH! You weren't supposed to actually KILL it!? Why is there even a real pig in the first place!? I asked for an animatronics one!

Sakura: Sorry K, that's all they had.

K-kun: It's all right, let's just continue. –wipes away the pig debris with her magical authoress powers-

Before the hunter left he took one of the sickly pigs from the livestock stables –glares at audience daring them to contradict this- and killed it carving out it's heart before he cleaned up and destroyed the evidence. He put the heart in a box the king/queen gave him and that's where we left him, confronting Prince Sasuke.

Kakashi: -comes up to Sasuke-Are you the Pri---!?

Sasuke: Hmmm?----!?

Kakashi and Sasuke: What are you wearing!?

Kakashi: -trying to hide his mirth- Your one to talk Sasuke-kun. I'm not the one wearing a miniskirt.

Sasuke: -blush- I told K this was a bad idea. –glares at behind stage- (from behind stage) Everyone: -backs away from K- K-kun: Nyu. TT ) Anyway, you can't talk either, dressed like 'Robin Hood'. –smirks-

Kakashi: That wasn't my choice. It was the choice of two certain people that should keep they're fantasies, and hormones in one's (or both's) case, in check. (gulping is heard from behind stage)

Sasuke: …I see. Anyway…..-reads script- what do you need of me hunter?

Kakashi: I have been sent to kill you on orders from Orochimaru-ou.

Sasuke: What!?

Kakashi: I know, that's what I said. But I'm letting you run, I already have a heart to fool the Queen…. or is it King?

Sasuke: I see…I'll reward you when I return.

Kakahsi: Get me a Fuku for 'Ruka-chan when you return! –several thuds and an exclamation of 'You can't be serious!?' are heard-

Sasuke: -trying not to blush- …Okay. You will have it upon my return. **–runs into the woods-**

Kakashi: - Now, to present the 'Princes' heart to Orochimaru-ou. –heads back to the castle-

So the Hunter presented a pigs heart to Orochimaru-ou, and the Hunters plan worked. The King used the Pig's heart in the soup thinking it was Sasuke's.

Orochimaru-ou: And with this soup boiled with the young princes heart I shall be young and beautiful forever! –laughs evilly-

Iruka: -sarcastically- You can definitely pick them can't you?

K-kun: I knew he was crazy but not this much!

Kakashi:-from behind- And I know a certain Wolf and Dolphin that need to keep they're hormones and fantasies in check, not that I don't like the outfit, just not on me.

K-kun and Iruka: Ummmmm…shit.

Kakashi: Continue with the story, I have to 'punish' them.

K-kun: You're not the boss of me! I'm 8 months away from 18!

Iruka: I'm 23 for God's sake! You have no say on what I think!

Kakashi: For you K, you can't borrow my 'Icha Icha' anymore.

K-kun: Eeep!

Kakashi: And for my little 'Ruka-chan…No sex for a month.

Iruka: No!

Kakashi: Now will you listen?

Iruka and K-kun: Yes!

Kakashi: Good, please continue.

The Hunter, pleased with his work, went to make use of his pay; the royal Advisor got it good that night.

Iruka: I'm the Royal Advisor now?

K-kun: Yup!

Iruka:….Sometimes, I wonder about you.

K-kun: Heeeeeeeeeee-grin-

Leaving our satiated Hunter, we go back to our prince, who is exhausted from running so far into the woods.

Sasuke: DAMMIT! And I just got these too! They were Prada.(**A/N: It's the only fashion thing I know**) –holds up heels-

-sweat- Okay, he was pissed because he ruined his Prada heels. He trekked a little further into the woods, only to come across a homely little hut.

Sasuke: It'll do, and maybe they have shoe-cleaning equipment! –happy at this prospect-

-sweat- Seems Orochimaru isn't the only one getting into this. So Sasuke went into the house and noticed something upon entrance.

Sasuke: Why is everything so…small?

Indeed, everything in the house appeared to be made for babies, except the liquor and the cigarettes in the cabinet, oh, and the porn, which was on the bookshelf.

Sasuke: Whoever lives here, their nothing but pigs.

So with that Prince Sasuke decided to tidy up, and burn the porn.

Sasuke: I can really burn it?

K-kun: Well I didn't actually mean….

Sasuke: -burns all porn and erotica novels-

K-kun: MAH PORN! MAH EROTICA/HOMOEROTICA!

Sasuke: The sacrifices you make to make a good production, -sniff- I'm touched.-evil smirk-

K-kun: -in corner in fetal position, sobbing-

Kakashi: -the same way since most of the erotica was his copies of Icha Icha-

Iruka: -sweat- Since K and Kakashi are both in equal states of distress, I'll narrate.

After cleanung, Prince Sasuke decided to take a nap.

Sasuke:-pushing beds together- Damn midgets.

After that he fell asleep, that was when the owners of the house came home…. Oh no she made it a crossover.-groans-

Voice 1: DAMMMIT! The Taisa made fun of me AGAIN!

Voice 2: Nii-san calm down.

Voice 3: Harehetta!

Voice 4: -whacks voices 1 and 2- URUSAI! I have a headache!

Voice 5: Oh my. I'll get dinner started.

Voice 6: You should just let them cook for themselves.

Voice 7: I AM going to kill K and take the damn Sutra! (ain't that a giveaway)

During all of this fighting, they failed to notice Prince Sasuke even when he began to stir, until he noticed them that is.

Sasuke: I want to take a little nap and I wake up to---OH SHIT!

Now, the chibi homeowners had stopped arguing at this and looked at their intruder.

All but voices 2 and 5: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?

Voice 2: And why do you have Prada heels drying on the window? Our shoe repair kits in the closet.

Voice 5: You weren't supposed to tell her that Alphonse.

Sasuke: -twitch- WHAT THE HELL!?

Iruka: They were in the script! Ask K!-looks over at still traumatized Kakashi and K- never mind.

Sasuke: Damn.

**Okay, that got too long so I'm ending it here...it was long by my standards, I work on a 6-7 page limit, and this is 9. Please read and review.**


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